Music Is What Feelings Sound Like

There are times in my life where the only thing I can turn to, or the only way I'm able to express my feelings is through music. I love that I can play the piano and sing my heart out....when I'm alone. I've had many a person comment on my voice and try and get me to sing out more. But I've always been so insecure about singing by myself. It always seems like someone is judging me when I open up enough to sing and play for others.

Yet...opening up and just belting out whatever song is in my head is becoming something I'm more comfortable with. Whether it be the Toy's R US song, Psych Theme Song, Wicked's For Good, 7 Things, or Taylor Swift....it's becoming more natural.
I used to doubt myself singing out loud when I KNEW the exact notes and words in my head. So it would come out sounding bad and it'd turn into me doing it off key on purpose.
But it's something I love doing so much. I am definitely addicted to music. There's something about it that I can feel.......but there's absolutely no way I would even be able to begin to describe it. And I don't know if I should even try. But I think some of my favorite lyrics at the moment might express it better than I could even try to. Kudo's to anyone who can name from what song all these lyrics come from.

And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there
In the middle of the parking lot

You make me laugh, you make me cry
But I guess that's both I'll have to buy

And all of a sudden you went and left
I didn't know how to follow
It's like a shock that spun me around
And now my heart's dead
I feel so empty and hollow
And I'll never give myself to another the way I gave it to you
Don't even recognize the ways you hurt me do ya?

Long walks in the dark
through woods frown behind the park,
I asked God who I'm supposed to be
The stars smiled down on me,
God answered in silent reverie.
I said a prayer and fell asleep.

Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you...

I'm alive
and I keep my cool one more time
and you just keep on walking by

And I need a miracle to save me from this
And I need the angels to all pray for me.

You'll never know what it could have been.

It is cruel, you know, that music should be so beautiful. It has the beauty of loneliness of pain: of strength and freedom. The beauty of disappointment and never-satisfied love. The cruel beauty of nature and everlasting beauty of monotony.