0938

24 years and 364 days ago, a baby girl was having her last conversations with her Heavenly parents and getting ready to meet her earthly ones.
Oh what promise and light she brought with her. What a life she had in store. What blessings Heavenly Father was waiting to bless her with.
What a beautiful, beautiful earthly family she was being given.
And then, June 22nd at 0938, after a rather traumatic birth, she entered this world.

And she became me.

This life I have has been dazzling. And heartbreaking. And not at all what I expected.

I expected by 25 I would have done or accomplished more or certain things. Maybe visited another country. Gotten married. Finished my degree. Had a baby. Stepped into a long term career. Fallen in love.

I want all of those things. Badly. When I start to think of those big things that haven't happened in my life yet, it makes me sad and anxious and thoughts of doubt and failure start to take over. Thoughts of Quarter Life Crisis. I mean, I have enough in my savings account to just take off for a few weeks and live on a beach somewhere. Or buy a really expensive...something. Maybe shop my feelings away.

But then I'm reminded that the key word is yet. Those things haven't happened yet. And if I give in to thoughts of a Quarter Life Crisis...I'm giving Satan exactly what he wants.

Don't get me wrong. Just because I'm reminded that it's yet...doesn't mean that the ache is gone. Sometimes, like tonight, it's overwhelming.

But I have a solution for the ache that I'll be feeling at 0938 when my internal clock clicks to the number 25. There is only one place on earth that I can find a calming peace. And that is the temple. At 0938 June 22, 2015...I will be in the House of the Lord. I will be being reminded of the light I brought with me. Of the possible conversations, and instructions, that I was having 25 years ago. And what better people to be surrounded by then the people that helped welcome me into this earthly world in the first place.

-A